All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 4 of 4)

Invite your roommate to sleep over. Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything. Walk into walls. Leave little notes in the shower for him/her. Every time you take a shower, yell audibly, “I’m melting, I’m melting!” … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 3 of 4)

Talk back to your “Rice Krispies.” All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, “No, I want to watch them suffer.” Change the locks on the door. Don’t let your roommate in unless s/he says the secret … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 2 of 4)

Dress in drag. Buy Lays potato chips with all your money. Stack the bags in the middle of the room in a pyramid. Eat them whenever your roommate is in the room. For every one you eat, offer your roommate one, each time telling him, “No one can eat just … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 1 of 4)

Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. Twitch a lot. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. Become a subgenius. Inject his/her Twinkies … Continue reading

600 Pick Lines; Guaranteed to Work (page 6 of 6)

They don’t call me the Italian Stallion for nothing. My name’s Clark Kent. Let’s go strip in a telephone booth. Put you lippers on my zipper. I’m gonna rape you! Just kidding, what’s your name? Didn’t I see you on a street corner? Wanna watch a porno? Do you have … Continue reading

600 Pick Lines; Guaranteed to Work (page 4 of 6)

Go up to a girl at a bar or a dance and ask her “do you want a fuck (wait for a second gauging her reaction) …ing drink. Go up to a girl, ask her: “Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?” She says no. Then wink. … Continue reading

600 Pick Lines; Guaranteed to Work (page 3 of 6)

Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot. Have you seen (any movie)? Would you like to? If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me? If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut … Continue reading

600 Pick Lines; Guaranteed to Work (page 2 of 6)

Miss, If you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in? Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `pud’ and say: Hey Charlie, see anyone here you recognize? I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting.. Let’s … Continue reading

600 Pick Lines; Guaranteed to Work (page 1 of 6)

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed. Nice shoes, wanna fuck? You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand. Do you know what’d look good on you? Me. [Look at her shirt label. When they say, “What are you doing?”:] … Continue reading

Idiots In The World

Sign in a gas station: Coke — 49 cents. Two for a dollar! I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

Top Ten Signs You’re Spending Too Much Time Surfing Web Sites

Your opening line is: “So what’s your home page address?” Your best friend is someone you’ve never met. You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see “Enhanced for Netscape 1.1” on one of the clouds. You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Web … Continue reading

Top 10 things to say or do to annoying co-workers

The next time your co-workers get on your nerves & you have just had it with them, do what I do… Tell them to alphebetize their m&m’s Tell them there is a Moron’s Anonymous meeting at 5 in the middle lane of 101 Leave a wet lollipop on their chair Follow them … Continue reading

101 Ways To Annoy People

As an expert on the art of annoying and irritating others, I have endeavoured to compile a list of methods I have developed, used, or read about, with which to annoy people. Some are very simple, some take preparation, some are very old and some are new. At least 1/4 … Continue reading