The Chain Letter Of St. Paul The Apostle To The Corinthians

The Chain Letter of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians WITH CHARITY ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE This epistle comes to you from Philippi. Grace be to you and peace. Spiritual gifts will be delivered unto you within four days of receiving this letter–providing you in turn send it on. This … Continue reading

where are they now?

Some of you may be wondering what ever happened to some famous cartoon characters after they made their big splash. Well, I caught up with a few of them, and these are some of the results: The Grinch Changed his name to Gingrich and became Speaker of the House. Frosty … Continue reading

more better tech support

7. “What kind of hard disk do you have?” Well… It’s black with a little red light … (groan). 8. Most common support call. “I lost my CMOS setup. How many heads, cylinders, and sectors does a _______ drive have?”. 9. “I move the mouse in any direction and the … Continue reading

Microsoft acquires another ………..

MICROSOFT to Acquire LDS Church SALT LAKE CITY (AP)- In a surprise move that left competitors stunned, Microsoft has followed up its successful merger with the Roman Catholic Church by announcing a cash buyout of the Church of Jesus Christ-Latter Day Saints. In recent weeks, high officials of the LDS … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

a horror movie character’s survival guide

* When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it’s really dead. * If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

ha ha kind of funny

“I bought some Instant Water but didn’t know what to add.” “One morning I woke up to find all my stuff in my apartment had been stolen and replaced by an exact copy.” “I’ve got a place in the median of the Interstate. It’s great, but you’ve got to be … Continue reading

Steven Wright Quotes and One-Liners

Steven Wright: When I was growing up, my parents had a quick-sandbox. I was an only child… eventually. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. I used to have a dog. I named him … Continue reading

10 Ways to Make Your Neighbors Move

Order pizza and other food to their house and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don’t have a phone. Stand over the plants in your yard with a hose and Scream, “I have your life in my hands, bow down to me!”. Then point at each one … Continue reading

Devil & Co.

The Devil once found out that his domain was too small for his ‘subjects’ so he ordered some of his juniors to move the fence to heaven a bit longer into God’s domain. When this was noticed, God replied the act with the following letter: Devil & Co. God Inc. … Continue reading

Top Ten Signs You’ve Lost Control Of Your Country

At big public ceremonies, secret service guys play keep-away with your hat People see you at the self-service pump filling up your pacer Sharp drop in sales of “Yeltsersizer” workout machine Stolichnaya withdraws its corporate sponsorship of your presidency You misspell “potato” and no one cares Your mother asks if … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Why Mozart lost the job

Why Mozart Lost the Job Dear Dean X: I write in response to your suggestion of an appointment to our faculty for a Mr. W. A. Mozart, currently of Vienna, Austria. While the Music Department appreciates your interest, faculty are sensitive about their prerogatives in the selection of new colleagues. … Continue reading

Hurricane Names

Mike McGovern, a writer, objected to having a destructive hurricane named after his sweet niece, Emily. So in yesterday’s NY Times, he submitted the following list of more appropriate hurricane names and how these storms might behave: Hurricane Clinton – Moves right, then left again Hurricane Gergen – Spins uncontrollably … Continue reading

Collection of ‘One-Liner’ Signature Files Found on the Internet

————————————————————— ————————————————————— Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk? Give me ambiguity or give me something else. I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got! We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your … Continue reading