Top 10 People I Can Do Without On This Campus

Foot draggers (see West Hall) Anyone who calls the Help Desk with a simple problem and gives the entire 30 minute unabridged version of how it happened and all the circumstances surrounding it and what they were wearing at the time, etc. Guys who wear their girlfriends’ sorority letters The … Continue reading

story

You see there was this guy once named Luigi, but he didn’t like the name so he changed it to Larry. He didn’t really know why he changed it to Larry, he just did. The good thing was people didn’t pick on him for his name anymore. The bad thing … Continue reading

Chivalry Is Not Dead; The Sexist Pigs’ Guide To Chivalry In The 90s

Chivalry is not dead, it’s just gone into hiding. With the emergence of strong, assertive women who construe certain gestures of common courtesy as a sign of weakness and a hangable offense, gentlemen have to be careful of who they hold that door open for. Each man must devise his … Continue reading

Alternatives to children

TOP 10 REASONS WHY KITTENS ARE BETTER THAN BABIES From dcohen@paul.rutgers.edu 10. Veterinarians have evening hours. 9. Your kitten won’t be able to disturb the whole movie with its crying. Hell, you don’t even have to take the kitten with you, and if you don’t, you don’t even have to … Continue reading

Lunch (sexual)

One day a fish was swimming in a lake, and he noticed a fly buzzing around above him. He thought, “If that fly would only come down four inches I could jump and get it and have my lunch.” There was a bear watching the fish from the nearby woods … Continue reading