Top 10 Reactions Of The American People About The Clinton Impeachment Inquiry

“This week’s made-for-TV movie: On My Knees, The Monica Lewinsky story” “You mean we’re paying these guys to look into Monica giving blowjobs to Clinton?” “Will this be on Springer?” “At least it gives Tim Russert and Sam Donaldson something to do” “When will the movie be released, Mr. Stone?” … Continue reading

Top 10 Shockers Clinton Will Give To Ken Starr’s Grand Jury

Roger Clinton is actually an adept hacker and wrote UUCP….Unix-to-Unix Cocaine Protocol “I felt Paula Jones’ pain….she had a toothache” Chelsea is actually Bill & “Ginger Spice”‘s love child He grows pot in the Rose Garden Vernon Jordan is Nicole & Ron’s “Real Killer” Monica owns six pairs of knee-pads … Continue reading

Top 10 Bombshells in THE STARR REPORT

In 1986, Al Gore was replaced with an android Monica’s pet name for Clinton’s penis is “Skin Force One” Donna Shalala is actually a bastard daughter of Marge Schott Hillary and Janet Reno are lovers Hidden cameras were planted throughout the Oval Orifice Office by Jerry Springer Monica Lewinsky is … Continue reading

Friends Game (not offensive)

The “Friends” Drinking Game This is a game. This is only a game. If using alcoholic beverages, do not drive. Do not operate heavy machinery. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Instructions: Gather friends (if applicable) around TV set. Place drinks, alcoholic or not, within easy reach. Watch … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

Steven Wright Quotes and One-Liners

Steven Wright: When I was growing up, my parents had a quick-sandbox. I was an only child… eventually. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. I used to have a dog. I named him … Continue reading