Top 10 Thoughts Put Forth By George Carlin

“Live and let live, that’s my motto. Anyone who doesn’t like it, take him out and shoot the motherf*cker.” “…And once you think you’ve gotten in a good lane on the road, you get behind the worst car of all…a Volvo station wagon…diesel. Here’s a safety freak who’s going to … Continue reading

Top 10 Reasons To Date a Computer Geek

0000 You don’t have to worry about X-girlfriends 0001 You know they’ll be up all night long. 0010 They take virus protection seriously. 0011 They’re just like a network, they often go down on you. 0100 They don’t BYTE (but they do NIBBLE a little) 1010 They may just live … Continue reading

Died in Service

A young boy and his father were standing in church foyer, looking at a memorial dedicated to all the men and women who had died in war. “What’s that Daddy?”, the little boy asked. “It’s a memorial to all the people who have died in service, son”, the father replied. … Continue reading

Budweiser Method

These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating,” which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really … Continue reading

Best Man stuff

_____________ The Best Man’s toast to the bride & groom at my wedding was: “… and, remembering Socrates, who said: ‘By all means, a man should marry. If it succeeds, he will be happy beyond his dreams. If it does not, he will become a Philosopher.’ Here’s hoping we never … Continue reading

straight

Members of Washington’s Russian colony are avid and earnest students of the English language. In a recent English, class the teacher asked: “What is the meaning of the word ‘straight’?” Up shot the hand of one of the more studious Russians. He laboured a moment, then replied: “Taking whisky without … Continue reading

Life’s more Fleeting Moments

The interval between the gas and electricity bills (accounts) arriving The period between homework and bedtime The difference between catching a train and missing it The time between ordering your drink and the play starting again The duration of the snooze facility on your radio alarm The time in which … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Boy Scouts And Nuts

Two Boy Scouts went on a nature hike in the hills, picking hickory nuts along the way. They soon filled their small pails, and started to fill their pockets and shirts. When they could hold no more nuts, they started down the country road until they came across a cemetery. … Continue reading