50 Fun Things Todo In A Final Exam (That Does Not Matter)

(i.e. you are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam) Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Top 10 Things That The “98” In Windows 98 Stands For

The number of megs a minimum installation takes up The minimum CPU use percentage at any given time The maximum number of minutes it takes for it to crash The minimum number of minutes it takes for a frustrated user to reformat the drive and put FreeBSD on it The … Continue reading

Birth Order

Composed by Jim Muncy Birth Order: Satire From a Youngest Child My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: Feeling the Baby Move First Child: I placed … Continue reading

Things Todo at Work to Lessen Your Stress

Write hate mail (for those who are *really* stressed: Fax/email hate mail around the world) Tacks & rubber bands= bulletin board art (bonus: earn respect from co-workers who didn’t realize you had taste) Tap dance naked on the conference room table See if you can get everyone in your office … Continue reading

Two Naked Statues

There were two statues in some ancient city of Greece which had been in existence for centuries. One was a nude male while the other was a nude female. For centuries they had braved the cold weather and the scorching sun. They had witnessed historical events such as Alexander the … Continue reading

Heroic Failures

THE WORST HOMING PIGEON This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and was expected to reach its base that evening. It was returned by post, dead, in a cardboard box eleven years later from Brazil. THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen’s strike of 1978, the British … Continue reading

The Young Man and The Pharmacist

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Budweiser Method

These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating,” which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really … Continue reading

What is the Information Superhighway?

Q: What is the Information Superhighway? A: It’s just like the internet, except: o it’s a lot more expensive. o you can’t post and there’s no killfile. o there’s no alt.sex.* or alt.drugs o rec.humor.funny has a laugh track. o there’s a commercial break every 10 minutes. o everything is … Continue reading

Smurf; Biological Reproduction and Cultural Development

One of the great mysteries that has puzzled men and women of the current 15-25 year-old generation is the riddle of the smurfs. Where exactly did they come from? How on earth do they reproduce? Where did Papa Smurf come from? Is smucking a real smurf cultural event? Here, after … Continue reading

Things Todo At Work

Ways to piddle the day away at work Worry that your shirt isn’t pressed ‘just the way you like it‘ Consider the many, many stores you will visit while shoe shopping during lunch Worship Satan on the bosses’ desk Pace the bathroom mumbling about not wanting to swim Dream about … Continue reading

Top 25 Reasons that Hockey is Better than Sex

It’s ok to bleed during play. If it’s a bad game, you can call a time out. Every player usually has two or three sticks to choose from. There is a limit to the sizes of all equipment. You can still play when you get married. You can change on … Continue reading

bored

List of things to do when you’re bored This List Includes: * Things you can do with absolutely nothing * Things you can do with very little * Things you can do with another person The amusement potential for each activity is denoted. Things you can do with absolutely nothing … Continue reading

Travelling Salesmen

A Jew, a Hindu and a lawyer were all travelling together (who knows why, maybe they were going to a rock concert) anyway it was getting dark and they needed to find a place to stay. Fortunately, they came across a farm house. The farmer, being the friendly country type, … Continue reading

If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek the Next Generation

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation… By Dave Fuller Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We’ll have two days til we arrive But … Continue reading

Haircut

This blond goes in to a salon to get her hair cut. She’s wearing a pair of headphones, and the stylist says that he can’t cut her hair with the headphones on. She replies “No, you have to cut around the headphones, I can’t take them off”. They argue about this for … Continue reading

Sex Maths

Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length is six inches, the average girl receives two hundred and sixteen inches or eighteen feet per intercourse. The average girl does it three times … Continue reading

A penny for your thoughts

There was this man who once met God. He was in awe of His great powers. “Lord, what is a million years to you?” he asked. “My son, a million years is a mere second to me.” “Lord, what is a million dollars to you?” he asked. “A million dollars … Continue reading

Little Johnny

Little Johnny’s sitting in class and the teacher is playing the guessing game, where a student would describe something and the class would guess what it was. Little Johnny keeps putting his hand up and the teacher keeps ignoring him, KNOWING that he would say something filthy. Everybody else got … Continue reading

Learning from Baywatch

What Other Countries Learn About the USA from Baywatch American men and women spend 15 percent of their days running in slow motion along the beach. Americans almost drown an average of two times each hour. Despite the habit of breathing water, CPR always works and no one actually dies, … Continue reading

You Have Been On Line to AOL

For those of you not on AOL – they have recently started putting up a message when you’ve been online for 46 minutes making sure you are really there and active. 1 You have been online for 46 minutes. Do you want to stay online? Please respond within 10 min. … Continue reading