ISDN It Still Does Nothing APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI System Can’t See It DOS Defective Operating System BASIC Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM I Blame Microsoft DEC Do Expect Cuts CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too. WWW World Wide Wait MACINTOSH Most … Continue reading

What is 3+1? (Sanitized for your protection)

Engineer: 4.0000000 x 10^0 Accountant: 4, before taxes. Statistician: 95% probability that it falls between 3.9 and 4.0 using student T distributions. Doctor: I will need to do more tests to be sure. Lawyer: How much do you want it to be? Math Prof.: f(x) = 4 u(x) where x>= … Continue reading

Calvin and Hobbes quotes

*”If something is so complicated that you can’t explain it in 10 seconds, then it’s probably not worth knowing anyway.”* “Who wouldn’t be interested in everything we do?!” “You know what we need, Hobbes? We need an attitude.” “You know you’ll hate something when they won’t tell you what it … Continue reading

Entrance Exam – Football Player Version

Entrance Exam – Football Player Version Time Limit: 3 WKS What language is spoken in France? Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. Would you ask William Shakespeare to build a … Continue reading

you might be an engineering major if …

YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEERING MAJOR… If you have no life – and you can PROVE it mathematically. If you enjoy pain. If you know vector calculus, but you can’t remember how to do long division. If you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.” If you’ve actually used every single … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

Catholic School Maths

A young boy was in grade four and was having a terrible time with his mathematics. His parents worked with him night after night but there was no improvement. His math marks were dismal. His parents in desperation decided to transfer their son to a new school. They decided to … Continue reading

The evolution of math education

HOW TO SPOT OUTCOME-BASED EDUCATION Math Quiz: In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four fifths the price. What is his profit? In 1970 (traditional math): A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 … Continue reading


if you have no life – and you can PROVE it mathematically. if you enjoy pain. if you know vector calculus but you can’t remember how to do long division. if you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.” if you’ve actually used every single function on your graphing calculator. if … Continue reading

engineers and mathematicians

A mathematics/engineering convention was being held. On the train to the convention, there were a bunch of math majors and a bunch of engineering majors. Each of the math majors had his/her train ticket. The group of engineers had only ONE ticket for all of them. The math majors started … Continue reading

Why Men Are Better Than Dogs

Men only have two feet to track in mud. Men can buy you presents. Men don’t have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block. Men are a little bit more subtle. Men open their own cans. Dogs have dog breath all the time. … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

How do they do it ?

Anthropologists do it with culture. Archeologists do it with mummies. Architects do it late. Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl. Bayseians probably do it. Boy Scouts do it in the woods. C++ programmers do it with class. C++ programmers do it with private members and public … Continue reading