Redneck’s Guide to Computer Lingo

This here is the WV Redneck’s Guide to Computer Lingo LOG ON Making the woodstove hotter LOG OFF Don’t add no more wood MONITOR Keepin an eye on thet woodstove DOWNLOAD Gettin the farwood ofn the truk MEGAHERTZ When yer not keerful gettin that farwood downloaded FLOPPY DISK Whatca git … Continue reading

The Top 10 Things I Am Doing on Fall Break

Watching every Monty Python movie…again Tearing apart my mother’s 486 and smuggling the parts into the UNIX lab 360 holes of miniature golf Realizing my dream of becoming a male prostitute Making fun on the Norwin School Board…just like the old days Rebuilding Cheese (yeah, right.) Crusing past Pitt-Greensburg and … Continue reading

Calories Burned: Forget Jogging and the Stairmaster

A recent report by the Southern California Medical Association pointed out that proper weight control and physical fitness cannot be attained by dieting alone. People who spend most of their day behind a desk face a particular problem in losing weight. Too many of these people fail to realize that … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

The evolution of math education

HOW TO SPOT OUTCOME-BASED EDUCATION Math Quiz: In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four fifths the price. What is his profit? In 1970 (traditional math): A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 … Continue reading

How To Address a Non-Sexist Business Letter

Let us look at the standard opening phrase of a standard business letter: Dear Sir, Well, this is clearly sexist as it precludes the possibility that a woman is reading the letter. We can try to fix this, however, by writing: Dear Sir/Madam, This was suggested in a recent posting … Continue reading

Business Joke

TEST YOUR BUSINESS SENSE – thanks to Pat Snider and Gary Guibor You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, … Continue reading

Amusing Quotes

smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips sex is like air, its not important unless you aren’t getting any. never take life seriously. nobody gets out alive anyways if vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of? no guts, no glory, … Continue reading

How Many Republicans Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?

462 12 to investigate Clinton’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb… 23 to deregulate the light bulb industry… 16 to cut funding for alternative-lighting research and development… 34 to cut the tax rate on light bulbs… 53 to design a block grant so the states can change the … Continue reading