The Full #Diet

BREAKFAST 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz glass skim milk LUNCH 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed zucchini 1 Oreo cookie MID-AFTERNOON SNACK rest of the package of Oreo cookies 1 quart Rocky Road ice cream 1 jar hot fudge DINNER 2 loaves garlic … Continue reading

Welcome to Monday

Here are some things you can do in the office today. Taken from an article in a Seattle paper. * Play a game of Twister. Rather than spin a needle on a board, spin your boss around as fast as you can. If he pukes, everyone gets the day off. … Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons The U.S. Is The Best Country On Earth

No dress code We’ve invented this cool holiday where all we do is blow up stuff Even a really, really dumb guy can host a talk show Guess what nation drank the most root beer last year? France? Think again, Buddy! Barney can beat the crap out of Mr. Blobby … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Business Joke

TEST YOUR BUSINESS SENSE – thanks to Pat Snider and Gary Guibor You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, … Continue reading

Real Programmers

Don’t eat quiche. Real programmers don’t even know how to spell Quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke, and palate-scorching Szechwan food. Don’t write application programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Application programs are for dullards who can’t do system programming. Don’t write specs. Users should be grateful for … Continue reading