footprints

************************************************************************ * FOOT PRINTS * * * * ooooO One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach * * ( ) with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed * * ) [ Ooooo across the sky, sometimes there were two sets of * * (_) ( … Continue reading

Gen A Sys

In the beginning, there was chaos and the Universe was without form and void. The Lord looked upon His domain and decided to declare His presence. “I be” he said, then to correct his grammar added “am.” If the Lord had decided to work on irregular verb conjugation first, this … Continue reading

Shit Happens in Various World Religions

Religion Shit Happens Taoism Shit happens. If you can shit, it isn’t shit. Shit happens, so flow with it. Hare Krishna Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding. She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens, she-it, she-it… (Repeat until you become one with she-it) Please this flower and buy our shit. Confucianism … Continue reading

Rabbi Playing Golf

The great Rabbi of a big city is a golf addict. He likes nothing like playing golf on a warm sunny afternoon. Unfortunately, on shabbat, he has to refrain himself. This is a big dilemma for his soul; the temptation to play golf, and the consciousness of doing wrong if … Continue reading

The Convert

A Christian Missionary was in Africa. He was walking through the jungle one day going from one village to another, a lion began to chase him. He ran as fast as he could but the lion was closing on him. Finally the missionary stopped and cried out “Dear Lord, please … Continue reading

Bible Stories Retold by Youngsters

It is truly astonishing what happens in Bible stories when they are retold by young scholars around the world: In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s … Continue reading

Political Humor

Seen on a bumper sticker: ************************************************* Let us pray for President Clinton: Psalm 109:8 ************************************************* Psalm 109:8 O’ Lord, May his days be few, and let another take his office. – Psalm 109:8 (KJV)

Adam and Eve

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?”, God replies. “Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful … Continue reading

book of creation

THE BOOK OF CREATION —————————————————— Chapter 1 1- In the beginning God created Dates. 2- And the date was Monday, July 4, 4004 BC. 3- And God said, let there be light; and there was light. And when there was Light, God saw the Date, that it was Monday, and … Continue reading

A penny for your thoughts

There was this man who once met God. He was in awe of His great powers. “Lord, what is a million years to you?” he asked. “My son, a million years is a mere second to me.” “Lord, what is a million dollars to you?” he asked. “A million dollars … Continue reading

Nothing Happened

A gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and is met by his servant at the station. This is the conversation that they have on their way to his home: “So, has anything happened while I’ve been away?” “No, sir, I can’t think of anything at all worth mentioning.” … Continue reading