Eeyore; Winnie-the-Pooh – ASCII Art

Eeyore, the old grey donkey, stood by the side of the stream, and looked at himself in the water. ,,”””‘,,;;””””’ ”;, “Pathetic,” he said. ,’, ”,, ,’ ,’ \ “That’s what it is. ,”’ @ ) ) _ ) ll | / / :;;,,,,;;”( | ) ll Pathetic.” __| ( … Continue reading

The Reverend John Fuzz

The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something … Continue reading

Condom Joke

A (nationality-impaired) gentleman went to his local pharmacy to purchase some condoms. After browsing for a bit, he picked a package and took it up to the cash register. The clerk looked at the package and said “That will be $7.95 plus tax.” Our hero, a startled look coming over … Continue reading

Nickel or a Dime

There’s a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Alley’s Grocery Store. I don’t know what Junior’s problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they offer … Continue reading

How The Angel Got To Be On Top Of The Christmas Tree

It just happened to be one of those dreadful days for Santa… It started of when he woke up groaning with a dreadful headache. But with so many things to do before Christmas Eve a few days later, there was no way that he could permit himself time to rest. … Continue reading

True story – offensive to Smokey the Bear

I hate to admit it, but this happened to me way back in 1980– A few years after graduating from college, I returned to my folks home to retrieve a considerable number of storage boxes that I had left with them. These boxes were filled with books, course notes, old … Continue reading

Budweiser Method

These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating,” which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

Future Career

An oldish couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. They decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and … Continue reading

Good Explanation

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news“, God said. Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first“. Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. … Continue reading

Smurf; Biological Reproduction and Cultural Development

One of the great mysteries that has puzzled men and women of the current 15-25 year-old generation is the riddle of the smurfs. Where exactly did they come from? How on earth do they reproduce? Where did Papa Smurf come from? Is smucking a real smurf cultural event? Here, after … Continue reading

Microsoft washes hands in innocence …

One of Microsoft’s finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The tech looked … Continue reading

this is actually amusing!

There were these two guys, and like most guys, they were very competitve. Each took great pride in knowing a lot of people; very important and well-known people. These guys were named Joe and Harry. Harry owned a little bar and Joe would come down there on occassion to knock … Continue reading

Frogs

A chicken goes into a library and takes out a book. The librarian thinks this is a bit strange, but lets it go out. In ten minutes, it brings the book back and gets out two more. Again the librarian lets it. In another ten minutes, it returns and takes … Continue reading

Top 15 Signs You Have Nothing Todo At Work

The Top 15 Signs You Have Nothing Todo at Work 15> You find yourself looking forward to your next random drug test. 14> You’ve already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 1997. 13> The only activity on your calendar? Tuesday/8:00am — Discuss Melrose Place at the water cooler. 12> … Continue reading

13 Reasons Why Scooby-Doo Was A Drug-Influenced Cartoon

Shaggy always had the munchies, but he still looked like Axel Rose. Fred, some freak with blue dickie around his neck, was their leader. Like Scrappy Doo wasn’t on speed, give me a break. They all thought the dog was talking. Shaggy always said “like” to the extreme, i.e. “like … Continue reading