You Know You’re a Grad Student When…

You just might be a grad student if: you can identify universities by their internet domains. you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels. you have difficulty reading anything that doesn’t have footnotes. you understand jokes about Foucoult. the concept of free time scares you. you consider caffeine to … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

“The Penis List” (some parts of it are bad)

THE PENIS LIST The Nuprin Penis: Little, yellow, different. The Equal Penis: Tastes like sugar. The Raid Penis: Kills bugs dead. The Excedrin Penis: It’s tthhhhiiiiiiissss big. The Sprite Penis: Image is nothing… Taste is everything. The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you. The Alkaseltzer Penis: Pop, pop, fizz, fizz, oh … Continue reading

Absolutely Positively Ridiculous Host Names

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And, yes, they all really exist… TOP TEN ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY RIDICULOUS HOST NAMES 10. dam.mit.edu 9. monarch.butterfly.net 8. gratuitouslylonghostname.apana.org.au 7. drag.net 6. my-hostname-is-longer-than-yours.mit.edu 5. tragically.hip.berkeley.edu 4. dislocated.hip.berkeley.edu 3. ohsaycan.ucc.american.edu 2. huh_huh.fire.com 1. vo.mit.edu

How do they do it ?

Anthropologists do it with culture. Archeologists do it with mummies. Architects do it late. Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl. Bayseians probably do it. Boy Scouts do it in the woods. C++ programmers do it with class. C++ programmers do it with private members and public … Continue reading

Star Trek With Dilbert Management

What the 24th century would be like under today’s management techniques. After the crew is told they are now Empowered, Dr. Crusher begins doing medical experiments on unsuspecting enlisted personnel while Worf slaughters everyone he considers “weak”. Data fails an ISO9000 audit because the construction of his positronic brain isn’t … Continue reading

Top 15 Signs You Have Nothing Todo At Work

The Top 15 Signs You Have Nothing Todo at Work 15> You find yourself looking forward to your next random drug test. 14> You’ve already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 1997. 13> The only activity on your calendar? Tuesday/8:00am — Discuss Melrose Place at the water cooler. 12> … Continue reading