100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

How Many Philosophers Does It Take To Change a Lightbulb?

Answer 1. Define “change” Answer 2. How do you know the lightbulb is out? Answer 3. That question is not appropriate for this group, please take it to the school of engineering. Answer 4. Yikes! It’s dark in here! Answer 5. Define “dark”. Answer 6. I mean the lightbulb must … Continue reading

How Many Microsoft Tech Support People Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Q: How many MicroSoft tech support people dies it take to change a light bulb? A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now exactly how dark is it? … Continue reading

Lightbulbs in the 90s

Q: How many IUS folks does it take to change a light bulb? A: IUS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has assigned your request Ticket Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as a technician becomes … Continue reading

How Many Republicans Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?

462 12 to investigate Clinton’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb… 23 to deregulate the light bulb industry… 16 to cut funding for alternative-lighting research and development… 34 to cut the tax rate on light bulbs… 53 to design a block grant so the states can change the … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Light Bulbs and College Students

How many George Washington students does it take to change a lightbulb? Five–one to change the lightbulb, and four to complain that, for the money they’re paying, someone damn well ought to change the lightbulb for them. How many Carnegie Mellon students does it take to change a lightbulb? Four … Continue reading