The Top 10 mistakes I made in Spain

Trying to sneak in three pounds of C4 in my backpack Pissing on the gate at the Royal Palace in Madrid Getting drunk and claiming Jose Maria Olazabal was a pansy Trying to say “Wednesday” (miercoles) and end up saying “shit” (mierda) Anonymously crank-calling the American Embassy to tell them … Continue reading

day off

So you want the day off from work, eh? Fair enough…let’s take a look at what you’re asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. … Continue reading

You know you’re too stressed if…

YOU KNOW YOU’RE TOO STRESSED IF… Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest. You can achieve a “Runners High” by sitting up. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading