Dictonary of Dating

DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future. EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals … Continue reading

Quotes and Sayings (2 of 2)

The Annuual Conference of Clairvoyants has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. The English country gentleman galloping after a fox – the unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable. The first three minutes of your life can be dangerous … The last three can be pretty dodgy too! The meek shall … Continue reading

New Teacher Regulations

TO: ALL STAFF FROM: OFFICE OF SUPERINTENDANT RE: TEACHER IN SERVICE TRAINING SCHEDULE (T.I.T.S) In accordance with recent changes in the State Education Law, our district is now required to supply bigger and better T.I.T.S for each employee. We are therefore, pleased to announce the implementation of the Special High … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

A little humor…

THE FACTS OF LIFE: The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can’t buy happiness…But it sure makes misery easier to live with.. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bullshit before. Psychiatrists … Continue reading

Cartoon Laws of Physics plus More on Mr. Coyote

Cartoon Laws of Physics ———————– Cartoon Law I ============= Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar … Continue reading

Murphy’s Laws & Corollaries

(picked these up from all over) ============================================================================ Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will. Murphy’s Corollary: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Murphy’s Corollary: It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious Murphy’s Constant: Matter will be damaged in … Continue reading

Budweiser Method

These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating,” which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really … Continue reading

Entrance Exam – Football Player Version

Entrance Exam – Football Player Version Time Limit: 3 WKS What language is spoken in France? Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. Would you ask William Shakespeare to build a … Continue reading

Laws Of The Internet

First Law: Netlag is the Lowest Common Denominator. Second Law: When you need to be Somewhere, You Can’t Get There. Third Law: The Sysop is Actually a Minion of Evil. Fourth Law: When Sysop is Unavailable, all usually goes Well. Fifth Law: You Will Never Have Enough Quota. Sixth Law: … Continue reading

laws

Murphy’s Corollary: It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious Rudin’s Law: In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible. Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results. … Continue reading

More Laws

Hind’s Law #6: Make it possible to write programs in English and you will quickly discover that programmers do not know how to write in English. Steinbach’s Rule: Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle. The Law of Measuring Sticks: If all economists were placed … Continue reading

Cartoon Laws

Cartoon Law I. – Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per … Continue reading