Humour in Court

Q..Did you ever sleep with this man in London? A..I refuse to answer that question. Q..Did you ever sleep with this man in Leeds? A..I refuse to answer that question. Q..Did you ever sleep with this man in Liverpool? A..No. Prosecutor:- Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead … Continue reading

Really Stupid People Criminals

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. A company … Continue reading

Loony Laws

These excerpts are from the book “Loony Laws” by Robert Pelton In Ottumwa, Iowa, “It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted.” In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same … Continue reading

Top 10 Strange Things About The O.J. Trial

O.J. had to be acquitted in order for all the networks to have ongoing series based on the subject. Check your Fall listings. Sales of the popular Isotoner gloves have increased 368%. Release of the new “Bloodstained” Isotoner glove series has been announced in time for Christmas. In honour of … Continue reading

Miscellaneous Rant

ON CLOTHES I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, “Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to … Continue reading

Laws Of The Internet

First Law: Netlag is the Lowest Common Denominator. Second Law: When you need to be Somewhere, You Can’t Get There. Third Law: The Sysop is Actually a Minion of Evil. Fourth Law: When Sysop is Unavailable, all usually goes Well. Fifth Law: You Will Never Have Enough Quota. Sixth Law: … Continue reading

The Pope and a Lawyer in Heaven

The pope and a lawyer died together and met together at the pearly gates. St Peter motioned them both to  follow as he walked down a silvery road. The houses were rather meagre along the road. St Peter eventually motioned the Pope to a simple one roomed house where he … Continue reading

Loony Sex Laws that You Never Knew You Were Breaking

Excerpts from Robert Wayne Pelton’s Loony Sex Laws that You Never Knew You Were Breaking (Walker and Company): In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it’s illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm. It’s against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for … Continue reading

Crooks are Stupid!

A D.C. radio station, WAVA with Don Geronimo and Mike O’Mera (105.1 on your F.M. dial) used to run a bit called “Crooks are Stupid!”. They read a few questionable stories that were very funny such as… A man goes to rob a bank. He brings two things: a hand … Continue reading

Wile E. Coyote vs Acme Company

In the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B191294, Judge Joan Kujava, Presiding Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff v. Acme Company, Defendant Opening Statement of Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring … Continue reading

Suicide?

On March 23, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound to the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the deceased had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent … Continue reading

Motor Cars Vs Pedestrians

We often hear motor cars criticized. Safety experts say they are dangerous. Ecologists tell us they pollute the air. Economists claim cars are responsible for U.S. trade deficits and high energy costs. Social Scientists blame them for the deterioration of our inner cities. And aesthetes damn them for roadside blight. … Continue reading

Stupid Laws

According to The Bathroom Trivia Book, by Jack Kreismer: It’s against the law in Portland, Oregon for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink. It’s illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM in Memphis, Tennessee. No one is permitted to carry an ice cream cone in … Continue reading

Divorced from Reality?

A woman walks into a lawyer’s office seeking to divorce her husband.  The lawyer asks if she has grounds and she says, “Oh, yes. We have a nice front yard and a beautifully landscaped back yard too.” “No, no, that’s not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?” “Oh, … Continue reading

Caught in the Act or Lack of Common Sense

Portsmouth, R.I. Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string of vending machine robberies in January when he (1) fled from police inexplicably when they spotted him loitering around a vending machine and (2) later tried to post his $400 bail in coins. Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in … Continue reading

Law – As It Should Be

Two gentlemen were walking down the avenue, when they saw a well dressed, attractive woman walking in front of them. Said one: “I’d give $50.00 to spend the night with that woman.” To their surprise, the young woman overheard the remark, turned around and said: “I’ll take you up on … Continue reading