Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

Kids Ideas About Science

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and class room discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain’s contention that the ‘most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.’ Question: What is one horsepower? … Continue reading

Dear IRS; Take my Children, PLEASE!

This is a real letter by someone at Intel. The IRS sent me a letter last Friday. They audited my return and denied two of my dependent deductions! I thought you might like to read my response which, while more devastating than any militia plot, is a kinder and gentler … Continue reading

Happy Butt

There was this 2nd grade school teacher and on the first day of school she was going over the rules and wanted everyone to introduce themselves. She told them right off, that one thing she would not tolerate in her classroom was profanity or bad language. So she proceded to … Continue reading

You may be an engineer

If you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife” If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie If you want an 8X CD-ROM for Christmas If Dilbert is your hero If you stare at an orange juice … Continue reading

Are your kids on drugs?

ARE YOUR KIDS ON DRUGS? Many parents today are concerned that their offspring might somehow be involved in the world of illegal pharmaceuticals, or “drugs”. This is a healthy concern. Knowing your kids are “high” is the first step toward helpng them avoid problems with their health, their grades, the … Continue reading

Are You An Internet Nerd?

This quiz is dedicated to all of those people who find themselves constantly roaming the net. Do you leave yourself logged in twenty-four hours a day, even when you’re not home? Is your wpm typing speed higher than your IQ? Are you having trouble seeing things at distances greater than … Continue reading

Republicans v. Democrats

And you thought you could tell Republicans from Democrats by how they vote. Not so! Just observe how they act during the holidays…… Republican say “Merry Christmas!” Democrats say “Happy Holidays!” Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army. Democrats help the poor by … Continue reading

Billy Crystal-City Slickers

Billy Crystal’s view on developmental psychology from City Slickers (1991) Value this time in your life, kids. ‘Cause this is the time in your life when you still have your choices. It goes by so fast. When you’re a teenager, you think you can do anything and you do. Your … Continue reading

Business Joke

TEST YOUR BUSINESS SENSE – thanks to Pat Snider and Gary Guibor You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, … Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons for Trick-or-Treating

Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading