UNIX Commands

% cat “food in cans” cat: can’t open food in cans % nice man woman No manual entry for woman. % rm God rm: God nonexistent % ar t God ar: God does not exist % ar r God ar: creating God % “How would you rate Quayle’s incompetence? Unmatched … Continue reading

Carter beter than Clinton-part 1 of 2

100 Reasons Why Jimmy Carter Was a Better President Than Bill Clinton by P.J. O’Rourke The American Spectator September 1993 *Jimmy Carter had a nicer wife, *A smarter baby brother, *A less frightening mom, *And a…No, we can’t bring ourselves to make fun of the first daughter, especially since some … Continue reading

Carter better than Clinton-Part 2 of 2

100 Reasons Why Jimmy Carter Was a Better President Than Bill Clinton by P.J. O’Rourke The American Spectator September 1993 *Carter was a good man to have on board when your canoe was attacked by a swimming rabbit. *Carter hardly ever hugged or kissed anyone in public except Leonid Brezhnev. … Continue reading

100+ Ways #Barney Should Die

Nitroglycerin suppository My First (and Last) Dr. Kivorkian approved suicide/euthanasia kit Paper cuts from hate mail Wine press Random act of terrorism Dissolved in organic solvent of choice (e.g. 1,1,1-trichloroethane, acetone, carbon tetrachloride) Clubbed by a baby seal hunter Exploding gas barbeque Date with Lorana Bobbit / Tonya Harding Rusty … Continue reading

The Different Kinds of Computer Viruses

Ross Perot Virus -Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits. Mario Cuomo Virus -It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run. Oprah winfrey Virus -Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back up to 200 MB. AT & T … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading