Ferret – ASCII Art

(`—-‘) O O / Eagles may soar, |`@@, but ferrets don’t `^^ get sucked into jet _ | _._ engines… ‘_ _ / ) ` -~ ~-_ ‘/,_ _ _/ ~. _ ` / } ~. { .— > ` ^. ` /// –~,`–‘ /- ‘ ` – – . … Continue reading

Microsoft Song

(Sung to the tune of ‘Money For Nothing’ By Dire Straits.) I don’t want, I don’t want, Don’t want Mi-cro-soft C(Tm), I don’t want, I don’t want, Don’t want Mi-cro-soft C(Tm), Now look at that yoyos, That’s the way you do it, Errors for nothing, And your bugs for free. … Continue reading

Excuses, excuses…

The Five Maxims of Making Excuses 1) The feebleness or banality of an excuse should never be a deterrent to its use. 2) Always put the blame on something that can’t defend itself. Children, pets, inanimate objects, and relatives living in foreign countries make perfect scapegoats. 3) Whine convincingly. 4) … Continue reading

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading