( ) English – It’s a funny language

English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every seven human beings can speak it. More than half of the world’s books and three-quarters of international mail are in English. Of all languages, English has the largest vocabulary – perhaps as many as … Continue reading

Limericks

a lady from boston, mass. had a most magnificent ass. it was not round, and pink, as you plainly might think. it was grey, had long ears, and ate grass! In days of ole When knights were bold and rubbers weren’t invented They tied a sock around their cock and … Continue reading

a brief survey of history (well, parts of this are funny)

WHAT HAPPENED TODAY IN HISTORY? (Inaccurately compiled by:) The JOKEMASTER (Solely irresponsible for inaccuracies) Events —— 732 – The invention of water. 733 – The discovery of water pollution. 1263 – A Hawaiian man, Paiilowmonoii, was the first to discover that man does not survive a leap into an active … Continue reading

Students’ History of the World

A STUDENTS’ HISTORY OF THE WORLD as collected by Richard Lederer (One of the fringe benefits of being an English or history professor is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay or report. Here is the history of the world, pasted together from genuine student bloopers, … Continue reading

Real Programmers

Don’t eat quiche. Real programmers don’t even know how to spell Quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke, and palate-scorching Szechwan food. Don’t write application programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Application programs are for dullards who can’t do system programming. Don’t write specs. Users should be grateful for … Continue reading