a very cool thing to read

Here’s the text of a speech Bill Watterson gave at Kenyon College, Gambier Ohio, to the 1990 graduating class. He says in his speech he was in their shoes 10 years ago, that makes him a 1980 grad, and about 38 yrs old today. Thanks a million to Kenyon College … Continue reading

Reality (Femidom)

If you’ve been keeping up with the latest developments in contraceptive technology, you know that a new female condom was put on the U.S. market last year. For those of you who can’t imagine it, the female condom looks something like a small latex windsock with a flexible ring at either end, … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Seinfeld-isms

What’s with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking — “Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I’d better carpet the toilet too.” What’s with this weird hotel custom of leaving a piece of chocolate … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

Black Studded Collar: Bondage – Joke

My girlfriend always seemed to enjoy seeing how much she could get away with doing some form of bondage stuff in public. She does this partly because she finds it fun, mostly because she knows it drives me out of my tree. Usually, I’s able to fast-talk my way out … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

Are your kids on drugs?

ARE YOUR KIDS ON DRUGS? Many parents today are concerned that their offspring might somehow be involved in the world of illegal pharmaceuticals, or “drugs”. This is a healthy concern. Knowing your kids are “high” is the first step toward helpng them avoid problems with their health, their grades, the … Continue reading

A Whale Of A Joke

So these two whales, male and female, are swimming happily through the ocean when they come upon a boat. On seeing the boat, the male says, “Hey, I’ve got a great idea! Let’s swim up under that boat and blow out really hard through our blowholes!” The female says, “Oh, … Continue reading

Humor: Medical Humor,mildly offensive ethnics, in general

You might be in the medical field if…. 1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you. 2. Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change. 3. You find humor in other people’s stupidity. 4. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac. … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Top Ten Things Overheard At The Bobbitt Trial

10. “Who ordered the Diet Slice?” 9. “Could Your Honor instruct juror no. 4 to stop giggling?” 8. “Mr. Bobbitt, please rise” 7. “I paid $500 for this ticket, now deemed, I want to see Streisand sing!” 6. “What’s Andrew Giuliani doing here?” 5. “One million bucks. All you’ve gotta … Continue reading

Your Starship Captain Just Might Be A Redneck If…

Your shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles You have a shuttle called “Billy Joe Bob” He refers to Klingons as “Critters” He refers to Photon Torpedoes as “Popguns” He has the sensor array repaired … Continue reading