Top Condom Slogans (1 of 3)

Cover your stump before you hump Before you attack her, wrap your whacker Don’t be silly, protect your Willie When in doubt shroud you spout Don’t be a loner, cover your boner You can’t go wrong, if you shield your dong If your not going to sack it, go home … Continue reading

How do you hunt elephants?

ENGINEERS hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals at random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or minus 15 percent of any previously observed elephant. ECONOMISTS don’t hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants are paid enough, they will hunt themselves. STATISTICIANS hunt … Continue reading

hunting elephants

HOW TO HUNT ELEPHANTS Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Professors of mathematics prove the existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for one … Continue reading

Mail to Newt Gingrich

John Michael Scalzi, II (scalzi@cris.com) wrote: The following is an e-mail I sent to Newt Gingrich, in the wake of the discovery of his comments on the biological urge of men to “hunt giraffes” and to wallow in ditches “like little piglets”: From: Scalzi@cris.com (John M. Scalzi, II) Subject: Giraffe … Continue reading

Lunch (sexual)

One day a fish was swimming in a lake, and he noticed a fly buzzing around above him. He thought, “If that fly would only come down four inches I could jump and get it and have my lunch.” There was a bear watching the fish from the nearby woods … Continue reading