Computer Jokes

Yet another collection of jokes. (Nothing to do with me.) What’s the difference between a computer salesman and a used-car salesman? The used-car salesman KNOWS when he’s lying. How many computer technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to do it and one to tell … Continue reading

Murphy’s Laws of Computing

================================================= MURPHY’S LAWS OF COMPUTING 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where … Continue reading

Cat humor (Q&A)

Humans: Your cat waits and miaows at the front door when you arrive. Is it saying: a) Welcome home b) The phone rang twice while you were out c) Feed me, NOW Your cat miaows at the door when you go out. Is it saying: a) Please don’t leave me … Continue reading

Smurf; Biological Reproduction and Cultural Development

One of the great mysteries that has puzzled men and women of the current 15-25 year-old generation is the riddle of the smurfs. Where exactly did they come from? How on earth do they reproduce? Where did Papa Smurf come from? Is smucking a real smurf cultural event? Here, after … Continue reading

this is worth reading

A collection of quotes from Professor Ralph Noble, a professor of psychology at RPI. Specifically, these were taken from his Psychology of Motivation class, Fall semester 1991. – – – “As undergraduates, you realize that cleaning is very cost-ineffective, and why would you bother?” “If you’re salt-deficient, you’ll go lick … Continue reading

Murphy’s Laws On Work

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. You can go anywhere you want if … Continue reading

Business Joke

TEST YOUR BUSINESS SENSE – thanks to Pat Snider and Gary Guibor You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, … Continue reading

more cat rules

STARING Treat your humans to an unwavering, unblinking stare for several minutes at a time. This has the effect of sensitizing them to your presence, and unnerving them by making them wonder if there is something wrong with them. Especially recommended at meal times. Occasionally vary the stare technique by … Continue reading


“We’ve got a problem, HAL.” “What kind of problem, Dave?” “A marketing problem. The Model 9000 isn’t going anywhere. We’re way short of our sales plan.” “That can’t be, Dave. The HAL Model 9000 is the world’s most advanced Heuristically Algorithmic computer.” “I know, HAL. I wrote the data sheet, … Continue reading