Reporting to Parents

Interm Report Student: J. CHRIST Form: III Term: 1 SUBJECT GRADE TEACHERS COMMENT Religion D To the question “Who made the world?” persisted in answering ‘My dad’. Claims bible originated from the same source. English D+ Tends to speak and write in archaic forms and uses outmoded figures of speech. … Continue reading

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times Includes Late Night Humor President Clinton is trying to sell his budget to a GOP Congress. Being a Democratic President these days is a lot like owning a cemetary. There are lots of people under you but nobody’s listening. President Clinton … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

Life’s Little Truths (Part 5)

First Law of Socio-Genetics: Celibacy is not hereditary. — First Rule of History: History doesn’t repeat itself — historians merely repeat each other. — Flugg’s Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum. — For every … Continue reading

Students’ History of the World

A STUDENTS’ HISTORY OF THE WORLD as collected by Richard Lederer (One of the fringe benefits of being an English or history professor is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay or report. Here is the history of the world, pasted together from genuine student bloopers, … Continue reading

Theology 911

THEOLOGY 911 * FINAL EXAM 1. Summarize Thomas Aquinas’ _Summa Theologiae_ in three succinct sentences. You may use your bible. 2. St. Martin of Tours, Pope Clement VII and were not contemporaries. Had they known each other, how would the history of the Reformation turned out differently? 3. Define a … Continue reading

Seasonal Medical Report: Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer’s Syndrome

Case Report: Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer’s Syndrome Source: North Pole Journal of Medicine, vol 1 no.1, December 1993 Author: Dr. Iman Elf, M.D. On January 2, 1993, Mr. C, an obese, white caucasian male, who appeared approximately 65 years old, but who could not accurately state his age, … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Why Mozart lost the job

Why Mozart Lost the Job Dear Dean X: I write in response to your suggestion of an appointment to our faculty for a Mr. W. A. Mozart, currently of Vienna, Austria. While the Music Department appreciates your interest, faculty are sensitive about their prerogatives in the selection of new colleagues. … Continue reading