Heart – ASCII Art

oo$$$$$$$$$$$ooo ooo$$$$$$$oooo o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$oo oo$$$$$$$o$$o$$”$$o$oo o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o oo$$”$$”$$o$$$”$o$$$$”$$$o $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$$$$$$$”$$$$$$$$”$$$$$$$o$$$$o$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$”$$$$$$$$o$$$o$$$$$$”$o$$$$$o$$”$$o$”$o$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$$”$$$$$$$”$$$$$$$$o$$”$$”$$”$$$”$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$$$$”$$o$$$”$$$$$$”$$”$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$”$$o$$$$o$$$$$”$o$$$$$”$$$$$o$$”$$$$$o$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$”$$$$$$$$$”$$$”$o$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$”$$$”$o$”$ $$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$o$$”$$$$o$$$$”$” $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$$o$$$$$”$o$$$”$$$$$$$o$$”$o$$” $$$$$$$$$”$$$$$$”$$$$$”$$$$$o$$$$$$$$$$o$$o$$”$$$”$” “$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$$$$$o$$”$$”$$”$$$”$$ “$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$$$o$$$”$$$$$$o$$$$$$$$$$$$$”$$” “$$$$”$o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$$$o$$o$$o$$o$$$ “$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$o$$$$$$$o$$$$”$$$”$$”$” “$$$$$$$$$”$$$$$$$$o$$o$$$$o$$$$$$$$” “$$$$”$$$$$$$o$$$$$$$$$”$$$$$o$$o” “$$$$$$$$$$$”$o$$$o$$$$$$o$$$ “$$$$$$o$$$$$$$$$$”$$o$$$ “$$o$$$$$$”$$o$$$$$$” “$$$$”$$$$$$$$”$” $$$$$$”$$o$”” “$$$$$$” “”$ Continue reading

Top 10 Products That Were Rejected By The Acme Company

Acme Bottled Mexican Water Acme Sulphuric Acid Mouthwash Acme Disintegrating Curling Brooms Acme Joey Buttafuoco Costume Acme Exploding Operating System (later licensed to Micro$oft) Acme Genuine Cactus Underwear Acme Do-It-Yourself Home Triple-Bypass Heart Surgery Kit Acme Dog Turd Novelty (made with real dog turd) Acme Salmon-flavored Instant Breakfast Drink Acme … Continue reading

Hard To Find Collectables

Official Dan Rostenkowski postage stamp dispensers American Lung Association ash trays M.A.D.D. 12 volt beer coolers American Heart Association butter molds A.S.P.C.A. riding crops Branch Davidian matchbook covers Womens’ Temperance League brandy snifters A.A. shot glasses USMC issue ear rings Save-The-Whales scrimshaw whaling ships “I Visited the World Trade Center” … Continue reading

Why Mozart lost the job

Why Mozart Lost the Job Dear Dean X: I write in response to your suggestion of an appointment to our faculty for a Mr. W. A. Mozart, currently of Vienna, Austria. While the Music Department appreciates your interest, faculty are sensitive about their prerogatives in the selection of new colleagues. … Continue reading


Who is “they” anyway? “They,” of course, are a little-known Federal agency supported by YOUR tax dollars. Cloaked in more secrecy than the NSA, “they” are located in the dungeon of another Federal building at the corner of 7th St. and Independence Ave. NW. “Their” annual operating budget is well … Continue reading