Have you ever heard of DOOM?

You Play Too Much DOOM, When… You attempt to change lanes on the freeway by strafing left. You try to pull out your BFG9000 after someone cuts you off on your way to work… You keep trying to pick things up by walking over them.. You eat the blue and … Continue reading

Best Man stuff

_____________ The Best Man’s toast to the bride & groom at my wedding was: “… and, remembering Socrates, who said: ‘By all means, a man should marry. If it succeeds, he will be happy beyond his dreams. If it does not, he will become a Philosopher.’ Here’s hoping we never … Continue reading

Steven Wright Quotes and One-Liners

Steven Wright: When I was growing up, my parents had a quick-sandbox. I was an only child… eventually. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. I used to have a dog. I named him … Continue reading

What happens when you die and go to hell?…….

After a long and difficult life, a particularly bad chap died. (As we all must.) Promptly after his death, the man found himself in the very depths of Hell, facing a grinning fellow in a bright red leisure suit. The man knew that this apparition could be none other than … Continue reading

If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek the Next Generation

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation… By Dave Fuller Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We’ll have two days til we arrive But … Continue reading

Unsuccessful Greeting Cards

Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! ‘Cause when I got one… I got real snippy. I heard you had herpes… and I feel terrible… I’d say “Get well soon”… but I know it’s incurable. My tire was thumping…. I thought it was flat…. when I looked at the tire…. I … Continue reading

Microsoft Windows for Macintosh Advertising Campaign

I heard that Microsoft is going to come out with a version of Windows for the MacIntosh. I can imagine what the advertisements will be: Are you tired of the user-friendliness of your MacIntosh? Then get Microsoft Windows for MacIntosh, featuring limited on-line help and poor documentation! Why settle for … Continue reading