The First Aid Treatment of Minor Mishaps

COMPLAINT SYMPTOMS TREATMENT APPENDICITIS Pain in right lower abdomen. Nausea, possible vomiting and fever. Who cares? It’s a vestigial organ anyway. Give him an aspirin. BURNS and SCALDS Redness, mild swelling, and pain. Blisters may develop. Peel away dead skin. Rub vigorously to encourage good circulation. CONVULSION Strong, jerking movements; … Continue reading

Cloning Questions

Results of the Washington Post Style Invitational, in which readers were asked to come up with intriguing questions to be considered by President Clinton’s special commission to study the moral and practical effects of cloning: Are the pope and his clone both infallible? What if they disagree about something? Can … Continue reading

Orange Penis

A man goes to the doctor’s office because his penis is orange. The doctor runs a battery of tests on the patient to determine the cause of his miss-coloured member. After all these tests, no medical reason for the discolouration can be found. The doctor explains this to the patient. … Continue reading

Birth Order

Composed by Jim Muncy Birth Order: Satire From a Youngest Child My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: Feeling the Baby Move First Child: I placed … Continue reading

Santa Clause for Concern

Dear Santa: We’re worried about you. From your rosy red cheeks to your legendary girth to your all-night sleigh ride around the world, you may be at risk for diseases, maladies, mishaps and lawsuits that send chills through our Santa-loving hearts. The latest warning comes from the National Rosacea Society … Continue reading

First Aid for Non-Medically Minded Persons

Electrocution Is he/she still connected to the power supply? If so, SWITCH OFF THE POWER IMMEDIATELY. Electricity costs an absolute fortune, and it would be going to waste. Check the victims pulse, (if you can find their wrist amongst the stack of charred bones and greasy, bubbling flesh that was … Continue reading

Good Explanation

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news“, God said. Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first“. Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. … Continue reading

Medical School Quotes

These are actual quotes that I heard first-hand last semester. I thought it might be humorous for you to hear a glimpse of the future (and teachers) of medicine. “The way I see it, I don’t know anything.” –med. student “It’s a powerful thing, vomiting.” –med. student “I sound like … Continue reading