Shit Happens in Various World Religions

Religion Shit Happens Taoism Shit happens. If you can shit, it isn’t shit. Shit happens, so flow with it. Hare Krishna Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding. She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens, she-it, she-it… (Repeat until you become one with she-it) Please this flower and buy our shit. Confucianism … Continue reading

Top 10 People I Can Do Without On This Campus

Foot draggers (see West Hall) Anyone who calls the Help Desk with a simple problem and gives the entire 30 minute unabridged version of how it happened and all the circumstances surrounding it and what they were wearing at the time, etc. Guys who wear their girlfriends’ sorority letters The … Continue reading

Why Ask Why

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive? Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when … Continue reading

where are they now?

Some of you may be wondering what ever happened to some famous cartoon characters after they made their big splash. Well, I caught up with a few of them, and these are some of the results: The Grinch Changed his name to Gingrich and became Speaker of the House. Frosty … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Lunch (sexual)

One day a fish was swimming in a lake, and he noticed a fly buzzing around above him. He thought, “If that fly would only come down four inches I could jump and get it and have my lunch.” There was a bear watching the fish from the nearby woods … Continue reading

World Religions Explained

Comparative Analysis of World Religious Philosophies —————————————————- Taoism * shit happens Confucianism * Confucius say, “shit happens” Buddhism * shit happening is an illusion Islam * shit happening is the will of Allah Zen * what is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism * this shit has happened before Catholicism … Continue reading

Shit Stuff

subjective i feel for your shit happening objective it is logical that shit happens pharisee shit only happens to bad people physicist calculates the velocity of shit happening news reporter wants a scoop on the shit happening fundamentalist you deserve the shit that happens to you the i.r.s. “are you … Continue reading

Love Is…

Love is Love is Slapping the other person when they get too happy being sad when the person is too happy being together in good times and seeing them deteriorate into bad times Love is the source of control Love is being honest with yourself at all times… unless it … Continue reading