New PBS Schedule

Here’s a future PBS schedule if public broadcasting leaders cave in to Republican pressure by Mark Harmon, Associate Professor at Texas Tech. 8:00 am Morning Stretch: Arnold Schwarzenegger does squats while reciting passages of “Atlas Shrugged.” 9:00 am Mr. Rogers’ Segregated Neighborhood: King Friday sings “Elitism is neat.” The House … Continue reading

Wedding: True Story

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about it. This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson. A buddy of mine from my baseball team knows a guy that was at the wedding. This was a huge wedding … Continue reading

Top Ten Things Overheard At Roseanne’s Wedding

“Honey, don’t you think we should leave some cake for the guests?” “Friends of the bride and bridegroom sit to the left, tabloid reporters posing as guests, sit to the right” “Man — that Boutros Boutros can really dance!” “I like this place. I hope she has her next wedding … Continue reading

Why Mozart lost the job

Why Mozart Lost the Job Dear Dean X: I write in response to your suggestion of an appointment to our faculty for a Mr. W. A. Mozart, currently of Vienna, Austria. While the Music Department appreciates your interest, faculty are sensitive about their prerogatives in the selection of new colleagues. … Continue reading

Fast Chicken

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car, moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe. When checking his rear-view mirror, he noticed that a small object, followed by a trail of dust, was closing fast. His curiousity piqued, he slowed a bit to get a better … Continue reading