More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

drunk jokes

A couple of drunks are sitting at a bar on the 10th story of a building. One says, “See that window over there? Well, if you were to jump out that window, the air pressure rising from the city’s activity would keep you from hitting the ground. If there’s enough … Continue reading

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

Dating “Don’ts” For Guys

There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date… “Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?” “I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.” “No wine for me tonight. … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

Smurf; Biological Reproduction and Cultural Development

One of the great mysteries that has puzzled men and women of the current 15-25 year-old generation is the riddle of the smurfs. Where exactly did they come from? How on earth do they reproduce? Where did Papa Smurf come from? Is smucking a real smurf cultural event? Here, after … Continue reading

34 Things I learned from Video Games

34 things I learned from video games: 1. There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence. 2. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters. 3. If it moves, KILL IT! 4. Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training. 5. One lone “good guy” … Continue reading

on the eighth day

“On the eighth day God, whose attention to detail knows no bounds, devised the ultimate practical joke. He began to place in the freshly smoking earth countless millions of fossils, designed to simulate the former existence of myriad unknown life-forms. He made the rocks themselves look a thousand times older … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Top 10 Rejected Dr. Seuss Titles

Lorax II: Machine-gun Vengeance Green Egg-Beaters and Tofu (Low Cholesterol Edition) The Cat in the Hat in the Frat Bartholomew Cubbins and the Above-ground Testing Hops for Pops The Cat in the Provocative Negligee Horton Picks a Scab The Grinch Who Shoplifted Arbor Day Horton Finds Waldo and Tramples Him … Continue reading

Four Engineers Travelling In A Car

There are four engineers travelling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. “Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says … Continue reading

Bricklayers Accident

I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You said that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient. I am … Continue reading