Funny Stories

Two guys were having a slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting, … Continue reading

Top 10 Things We’re Doing To “Farm”

Farm = IBM PS/2 with a 386SX-20. Runs NetBSD. Currently sits in the UNIX lab. Putting a 2 TB drive in it Grafting the motherboard to Keith Niedfeldt’s stomach Make it the biggest kick-ass Usenet server anywhere! Throwing it off the top of Hoyt Using it to play Rugby Running … Continue reading

Top Condom Slogans (1 of 3)

Cover your stump before you hump Before you attack her, wrap your whacker Don’t be silly, protect your Willie When in doubt shroud you spout Don’t be a loner, cover your boner You can’t go wrong, if you shield your dong If your not going to sack it, go home … Continue reading

The 9 Types of Girlfriends

Ms. Nice Guy – “Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn’t have” Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly Disadvantages: May wise up someday Old Yeller – “You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can’t … Continue reading

cecil

A burgular was wandering round the living room of a house, collecting swag, as burgulars do…when he heard a voice say “STOP THAT OR JESUS WILL PUNISH YOU…”, he thought nothing of it and carried on collecting swag, and the the voice spoke up again…”STOP THAT OR JESUS WILL PUNISH … Continue reading

List of Bart Simpsons’ Blackboard Quotations

Episode numbers indicate the blackboard scene used when the episode was shown for the first time; in some cases, the one used in Canada is listed where it was “original” and the USA one was repeated. Note that all quotes were originally in all capital letters, but any punctuation appears … Continue reading