100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

30 things to do at a funeral

1. Tell the widow that the deceased’s last wish was that she make love with you. 2. Tell the undertaker that he can’t close the coffin until you find your contact lens. 3. Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first. 4. Tell the widow that you’re … Continue reading

Points to ponder.

Things that make you go hmmm… 1. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? 2. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure? 3. Is there another word for … Continue reading

Where to meet singles in 90s

THE PLACES TO MEET SEXY SINGLES IN THE 90’S…SORTA By Robert Mauro The usual places for singles to meet have been talked about and written about for ages. Take a cruise, they say. It’s better in the Bahamas. See Alaska’s Winter Wonderland. You can dance. You can eat. You can … Continue reading

Offensive to morticians

WAYS TO BE OFFENSIVE AT A FUNERAL 1. Tell the widow that the deceased’s last wish was that she make love with you. 2. Tell the undertaker that he can’t close the coffin until you find your contact lens. 3. Punch the body and tell people that he hit you … Continue reading