you might be an engineering major if …

YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEERING MAJOR… If you have no life – and you can PROVE it mathematically. If you enjoy pain. If you know vector calculus, but you can’t remember how to do long division. If you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.” If you’ve actually used every single … Continue reading

Smurf; Biological Reproduction and Cultural Development

One of the great mysteries that has puzzled men and women of the current 15-25 year-old generation is the riddle of the smurfs. Where exactly did they come from? How on earth do they reproduce? Where did Papa Smurf come from? Is smucking a real smurf cultural event? Here, after … Continue reading

YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR…

if you have no life – and you can PROVE it mathematically. if you enjoy pain. if you know vector calculus but you can’t remember how to do long division. if you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.” if you’ve actually used every single function on your graphing calculator. if … Continue reading

A Comparison of Computers and Women

A comparison of computers and women Computer Woman ———————————————————————— doesn’t talk (much)(yet) talks constantly does what you tell it often asks “why” or says “no” does EXACTLY what you tell it often intelligent metallic taste or no taste yummy pussy hard metal case soft skin disk drives stay the same … Continue reading

You Know It Is Time To Get Out Of Consulting When

You know it is time to get out of consulting when… 1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant’s core competencies are. 2. You decide to re-org your family into a “team-based organization.” 3. You refer to dating as test marketing. 4. You can spell “paradigm.” 5. You actually know … Continue reading

Practical Jokes for the Office

Prank #1 Using the conferencing feature of your office phone, dial one person, then while it’s ringing dial another and conference them together. Put your own phone on mute and listen to see how long they’ll make small talk before figuring out that neither one placed the call. Prank #2 … Continue reading

T.H.E.Y.

Who is “they” anyway? “They,” of course, are a little-known Federal agency supported by YOUR tax dollars. Cloaked in more secrecy than the NSA, “they” are located in the dungeon of another Federal building at the corner of 7th St. and Independence Ave. NW. “Their” annual operating budget is well … Continue reading