The Dangers of Oxygen

Oxygen is a very toxic gas and an extreme fire hazard. It is fatal in concentrations of as little as 0.000001 p.p.m. Humans exposed to these oxygen concentrations die within a few minutes. Symptoms resemble very much those of cyanide poisoning (blue face, etc.) In higher concentration e.g. about 20%, … Continue reading

Heroic Failures

THE WORST HOMING PIGEON This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and was expected to reach its base that evening. It was returned by post, dead, in a cardboard box eleven years later from Brazil. THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen’s strike of 1978, the British … Continue reading

where are they now?

Some of you may be wondering what ever happened to some famous cartoon characters after they made their big splash. Well, I caught up with a few of them, and these are some of the results: The Grinch Changed his name to Gingrich and became Speaker of the House. Frosty … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Universal Truths

MEDIA, TV, FILMS The hell with the Prime Directive – let’s kill something! Hello. My name is Batman. You killed my father. Prepare to die. He’s dead, Jim. You take his phaser, I’ll get his wallet. I hate you, you hate me, let’s go out and kill Barney – with … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

Miscellaneous Observations

ANGST Every time I find out the meaning of life, they change it. If only there were some indication the universe was doing it on purpose! Is the world full of smart people pretending, or imbeciles who mean it? If only you could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without … Continue reading

If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek the Next Generation

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation… By Dave Fuller Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We’ll have two days til we arrive But … Continue reading

Ecumenical Fire

During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!” The METHODISTS gathered in a corner and prayed. The BAPTISTS cried, “Where is the water?” The CHURCH OF CHRIST called a meeting to determine if fire was scriptural. The QUAKERS silently praised God for the … Continue reading

Absolutely Positively Ridiculous Host Names

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And, yes, they all really exist… TOP TEN ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY RIDICULOUS HOST NAMES 10. dam.mit.edu 9. monarch.butterfly.net 8. gratuitouslylonghostname.apana.org.au 7. drag.net 6. my-hostname-is-longer-than-yours.mit.edu 5. tragically.hip.berkeley.edu 4. dislocated.hip.berkeley.edu 3. ohsaycan.ucc.american.edu 2. huh_huh.fire.com 1. vo.mit.edu Continue reading

How do they do it ?

Anthropologists do it with culture. Archeologists do it with mummies. Architects do it late. Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl. Bayseians probably do it. Boy Scouts do it in the woods. C++ programmers do it with class. C++ programmers do it with private members and public … Continue reading