Simple Caveman Needum Printer Help

The following is said to have been posted on an Internet newsgroup: Me caveman, simple folk. Want hook-up two printer, two computer. OOG, let me scratch on cave wall: _________ _________ | P5-90 | LPT1 | P5-60 | | Win95 | | Win3.1| | | | | ——— —-|—- ? … Continue reading

Laws Of The Internet

First Law: Netlag is the Lowest Common Denominator. Second Law: When you need to be Somewhere, You Can’t Get There. Third Law: The Sysop is Actually a Minion of Evil. Fourth Law: When Sysop is Unavailable, all usually goes Well. Fifth Law: You Will Never Have Enough Quota. Sixth Law: … Continue reading

If I Ever Become An Evil Overlord

My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. Shooting is not too good for … Continue reading

34 Things I learned from Video Games

34 things I learned from video games: 1. There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence. 2. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters. 3. If it moves, KILL IT! 4. Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training. 5. One lone “good guy” … Continue reading

Real Programmers

Don’t eat quiche. Real programmers don’t even know how to spell Quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke, and palate-scorching Szechwan food. Don’t write application programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Application programs are for dullards who can’t do system programming. Don’t write specs. Users should be grateful for … Continue reading

God as a Computer Programmer

Some important theological questions are answered if we think of Cod as a computer programmer. Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it’s tedious to step through all those variables. Q: Why does God allow evil to happen? … Continue reading