S Trek top-ten

————-Top Ten Things that Never Happen on Star Trek—————– 20 Most things that are new or in some way unexpected. 19 Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to … Continue reading

The Top Ten Changes If Starfleet Had Sponsors

O’Brien would say “Thank you for using the Federation Express transporter. When you absolutely,  positively have to get there instantly” Starfleet uniforms would carry Pepsi logos and say “Pepsi, the choice of the Next Generation Main bridge viewscreen would have “VH1” in the corner Holodeck doors would say Sony Trinitron … Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons Why The Three Stooges Could Easily Take Command of the Enterprise

10) Troi would not comprehend their emotions: “Captain, I sense…whoo! whoo! …You numbskull…. Why, I oughta…” 9) Riker will be reduced to tears when they call him “Fat Boy.” 8) Transporter. Cream pie. You get the picture. 7) Curly could jam turbolifts with his head, rendering security unable to leave … Continue reading

Star Trek With Dilbert Management

What the 24th century would be like under today’s management techniques. After the crew is told they are now Empowered, Dr. Crusher begins doing medical experiments on unsuspecting enlisted personnel while Worf slaughters everyone he considers “weak”. Data fails an ISO9000 audit because the construction of his positronic brain isn’t … Continue reading

Star Trek Top Ten April Fool’s Jokes on the Enterprise

Everybody act like Riker is the captain Pretend you’ve been taken over by an alien being Program the replicator in Troi’s room so that it won’t make chocolate Replay file tape of Borg ship on main viewer Tell Data that Starfleet has decided to dismantle him Put a small speaker … Continue reading