Top Condom Slogans (3 of 3)

Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle Can your knob then throb her swab Contain old Doug then clean her rug Cover your limb before you swim Retain your bailer then impail her Rope your dope then make some soap Net your salamander then make salad in her Cap your … Continue reading

Top 10 Signs The Apocalypse Is Upon Us

The Cleveland Browns win the Super Bowel in their first year of re-existance. Dennis Ritchie accepts an offer to teach at WC Clinton gets locked in the Lincoln Bedroom with his wife for three weeks W3C changes the HTTP specification to use troff Congress finds a House Speaker that doesn’t … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

Benefits of Getting to Work Early

Imagine- no wait for the copier By 9:00am you’re 6 expressos up on your co-workers Freak out the security guards- wear a ski mask and work in the dark Stand in any corner you want on the elevator No one will be there to beg you to turn down you … Continue reading

Is Your Job Secure ?

I just knew I was in big trouble at work when: * the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me. * the Security guard made a complete inventory of my work area. * my assistant began responding to my memos with, “Yeah, whatever.” * I got a … Continue reading

10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween

So…What’d you get in the sack? Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning! Just hop on that broomstick and ride it! Those small suckers are gone in a few licks. I got the best piece from that house. Quit screwing around on the porch! Stick your hand … Continue reading

Steven Wright Quotes and One-Liners

Steven Wright: When I was growing up, my parents had a quick-sandbox. I was an only child… eventually. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. I used to have a dog. I named him … Continue reading

Unsuccessful Greeting Cards

Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! ‘Cause when I got one… I got real snippy. I heard you had herpes… and I feel terrible… I’d say “Get well soon”… but I know it’s incurable. My tire was thumping…. I thought it was flat…. when I looked at the tire…. I … Continue reading