Surprise Graduation

Dear Dad, Thanks for the money to begin the second semester with. The only trouble is, I graduated yesterday. I know it’s sort of a surprise, with me being an entering freshman only several months ago. It was sort of a surprise to me too. I went to register yesterday … Continue reading

The Young Man and The Pharmacist

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms … Continue reading

Smurf; Biological Reproduction and Cultural Development

One of the great mysteries that has puzzled men and women of the current 15-25 year-old generation is the riddle of the smurfs. Where exactly did they come from? How on earth do they reproduce? Where did Papa Smurf come from? Is smucking a real smurf cultural event? Here, after … Continue reading

T.H.E.Y.

Who is “they” anyway? “They,” of course, are a little-known Federal agency supported by YOUR tax dollars. Cloaked in more secrecy than the NSA, “they” are located in the dungeon of another Federal building at the corner of 7th St. and Independence Ave. NW. “Their” annual operating budget is well … Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons Why Scooby Doo was a Drug Influenced Cartoon

Scooby and Shaggy were always being freaked out by ghosts and ghouls, but no one else saw them before Scoob and Shaggy. Scooby and Shaggy always had the munchies. Shaggy always thought Scooby was talking and was the only one who could hear him and understand him. Scooby and Shaggy … Continue reading

13 Reasons Why Scooby-Doo Was A Drug-Influenced Cartoon

Shaggy always had the munchies, but he still looked like Axel Rose. Fred, some freak with blue dickie around his neck, was their leader. Like Scrappy Doo wasn’t on speed, give me a break. They all thought the dog was talking. Shaggy always said “like” to the extreme, i.e. “like … Continue reading