The Thinnest Books

“How to win a presidential election” by Bob Dole. “Things not to do on a first date.” by Hugh Grant “Guide to being accepted” by Dennis Rodman “Why I’m so darn Popular” by the Ayatollah “Guide to marital Bliss” by OJ “How to avoid the temptations of drugs” by the … Continue reading

Torch in DC

With all the hype about the Olympic Torch coming through the D.C. area, certain gory details about the Torch’s journey were omitted by the media (probably a conspiracy by those “black helicopter” guys). Accordingly, I thought you might like to see a minute-by-minute account of what REALLY happened as the … Continue reading

Old Bob Dole

“Old Bob Dole” Old Bob Dole was a grumbly old soul, A brooding old soul was he. He called for his wife and his running mate glib He asked for the presidency. Economy’s in the toilet, everyone knows, It’s all downhill now, said he. But I’m The Most Optimistic when … Continue reading

Top Seven Ways To Balance The Budget

Stop paying Clinton speechwriters by the word Get Letterman to pay his speeding tickets Serve canned hams at all White House state dinners Save government ink by replacing long “William Jefferson Clinton” signature with 70% shorter “Bob Dole” signature Make Gore and Gingrich pay for those good seats at State … Continue reading

10 Reasons Libby Dole would be a better Presidential candidate than Bob

10 Reasons Libby Dole would be a better Presidential candidate than Bob Dole: 1. Libby has a better smile than Bob. 2. Libby hasn’t retired. 3. Libby’s a lifelong Republican. Bob’s family were Democrats. 4. As President of the American Bloodsuckers Union, Libby actually has some executive experience. 5. Libby … Continue reading

Every 4th November

Clinton, Dole, and Perot are on a long flight in Air Force One. Perot pulls out a $100 bill and says “I’m going to throw this $100 bill out and make someone down below happy.” Dole, not wanting to be outdone, says, “If that was my $100 bill, I would … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading