Best Joke

Grand Prize Winner: When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With … Continue reading

25 Thoughts To Get You Through Almost Any Crisis

Indecision is the key to flexibility. You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the track. There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. Happiness is merely the remission of pain. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. Sometimes too much drink is not enough. … Continue reading

Ten things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving, but aren’t

Reach in and grab the giblets. Whew, that’s one terrific spread! I’m in the mood for a little dark meat. Tying the legs together will keep the insides moist. Talk about a huge breast! “and he forced his way into the end zone…” She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

Some Interesting and Usefull Sayings…

Indecision is the key to flexibility. You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the track. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. Happiness is merely the remission of pain. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. Sometimes too much drink is not … Continue reading

If Food was Dirty

“. . . there are only two things you need to make people. You got to have sex. You got to have food. . . But for some reason, sex is dirty. Maybe God was a Republican. Somebody said, ‘All right, you want to propogate, go ahead, but only late … Continue reading