S Trek top-ten

————-Top Ten Things that Never Happen on Star Trek—————– 20 Most things that are new or in some way unexpected. 19 Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to … Continue reading

If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek the Next Generation

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation… By Dave Fuller Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We’ll have two days til we arrive But … Continue reading

Top 20 Uses For Data’s Detached Head

Combination paperweight/stapler for Picard’s desk The ball in Parisis’ Squares Hood ornament for Shuttle craft Replace Troi’s broken Chia Pet Scare blind students in Braille class Prop open doors for maintenance crews Lawn decoration in Arboreteum Footstool for Captain’s chair entertaining kids in day care puppet show Scare Alexander into … Continue reading

How do they do it ?

Anthropologists do it with culture. Archeologists do it with mummies. Architects do it late. Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl. Bayseians probably do it. Boy Scouts do it in the woods. C++ programmers do it with class. C++ programmers do it with private members and public … Continue reading

Star Trek With Dilbert Management

What the 24th century would be like under today’s management techniques. After the crew is told they are now Empowered, Dr. Crusher begins doing medical experiments on unsuspecting enlisted personnel while Worf slaughters everyone he considers “weak”. Data fails an ISO9000 audit because the construction of his positronic brain isn’t … Continue reading