Humour in Court

Q..Did you ever sleep with this man in London? A..I refuse to answer that question. Q..Did you ever sleep with this man in Leeds? A..I refuse to answer that question. Q..Did you ever sleep with this man in Liverpool? A..No. Prosecutor:- Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead … Continue reading

Genuine News Bloopers; Anguished English

Here are a few genuine news bloopers gleaned from American newspapers. These were taken from an article by Richard Lederer, author of “Anguished English”. On behalf of Barbara Rutledge and her family, our sincere thanks go out to those sending flowers, cards and contributing to the death of her husband. … Continue reading

Disorder in the Court

DISORDER IN THE COURT: A COLLECTION OF ‘TRANSQUIPS’ by Richard Lederer Most language is spoken language, and most words, once they are uttered, vanish forever into the air. But such is not the case with language spoken during courtroom trials, for there exists an army of courtroom reporters whose job … Continue reading

Carter better than Clinton-Part 2 of 2

100 Reasons Why Jimmy Carter Was a Better President Than Bill Clinton by P.J. O’Rourke The American Spectator September 1993 *Carter was a good man to have on board when your canoe was attacked by a swimming rabbit. *Carter hardly ever hugged or kissed anyone in public except Leonid Brezhnev. … Continue reading

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

Instructions for DC tourists

Advice for tourists in DC: *Don’t miss the weekly weenie roasts at the Eternal Flame *Find and use the dining car on the Metro *If the cab doesn’t have a meter, you ride for free *Play a game of handball at the unique v-shaped black marble court on the mall … Continue reading

Lawyer’s Revenge

A quick narrative. I always wanted a hopped up muscle car when I was younger. I couldn’t afford one. Now I can, and I have one. It is a ’70 Mustang, and her name is Bessie. Bessie is the prototypical juvenile, male-caveman, scratch you crotch and drink cheap beer car. … Continue reading

Lawyer: Too Young To Die

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. “I’m … Continue reading

Eco humour

A man was arrested for having shot and killed a bald eagle, then eating it. Upon his conviction for the offense, the judge asked him, “Have you anything to say before I sentence you? You’ve killed an endangered species and ‘eaten’ it! You destroyed our national symbol! Why shouldn’t I … Continue reading

Intresting News Stories from around the World.

Compiled by Ivan Weiss. From The Seattle Times, Saturday, October 14, 1995. A small group of policemen are trying to change a negative image of Bangkok law enforcement and ease driver tensions by dancing as they direct traffic. Twelve Ventura, Calif., cheerleaders crammed into a Voltswagen Bug during a contest. … Continue reading

What Happened in 1994

Ft. Wayne, Ind. Police responded to a complaint of bullets hitting a house only to find that the complainant had hidden his loaded piston in the stove, forgotten about it and then turned on the oven. Newark, NJ A lawyer sued a resturant for damages when he was served a … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading