All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 4 of 4)

Invite your roommate to sleep over. Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything. Walk into walls. Leave little notes in the shower for him/her. Every time you take a shower, yell audibly, “I’m melting, I’m melting!” … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 3 of 4)

Talk back to your “Rice Krispies.” All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, “No, I want to watch them suffer.” Change the locks on the door. Don’t let your roommate in unless s/he says the secret … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 2 of 4)

Dress in drag. Buy Lays potato chips with all your money. Stack the bags in the middle of the room in a pyramid. Eat them whenever your roommate is in the room. For every one you eat, offer your roommate one, each time telling him, “No one can eat just … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 1 of 4)

Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. Twitch a lot. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. Become a subgenius. Inject his/her Twinkies … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Budweiser Method

These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating,” which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really … Continue reading

Steven Wright Quotes and One-Liners

Steven Wright: When I was growing up, my parents had a quick-sandbox. I was an only child… eventually. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. I used to have a dog. I named him … Continue reading

Microsoft Windows for Macintosh Advertising Campaign

I heard that Microsoft is going to come out with a version of Windows for the MacIntosh. I can imagine what the advertisements will be: Are you tired of the user-friendliness of your MacIntosh? Then get Microsoft Windows for MacIntosh, featuring limited on-line help and poor documentation! Why settle for … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading