HUM: New Intel Chip

INTRODUCING the greatest and most powerful new chip out of INTEL’s(TM) Microporcessor Labs: The Potato(TM) Chip. Finally, with much fanfare, the newest upgrade to the best selling Pentium(TM) processor is released. The Potato(TM) Chip uses the latest in biochemical and electonic engineering. This newly developed organic microprocessor outshines the previous … Continue reading

Laws Of The Internet

First Law: Netlag is the Lowest Common Denominator. Second Law: When you need to be Somewhere, You Can’t Get There. Third Law: The Sysop is Actually a Minion of Evil. Fourth Law: When Sysop is Unavailable, all usually goes Well. Fifth Law: You Will Never Have Enough Quota. Sixth Law: … Continue reading

Oracle Humor – Our Master Plan

A brief explanation for the uninitiated: The Usenet Oracle is all seeing, all powerful, and generally a smartass. The “lowly supplicants” send the Oracle their pitiful requests for knowledge, and he answers. For information about how to ask questions of (or answer questions as) the Usenet Oracle, email with … Continue reading

Miscellaneous Observations

ANGST Every time I find out the meaning of life, they change it. If only there were some indication the universe was doing it on purpose! Is the world full of smart people pretending, or imbeciles who mean it? If only you could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without … Continue reading

A Comparison of Computers and Women

A comparison of computers and women Computer Woman ———————————————————————— doesn’t talk (much)(yet) talks constantly does what you tell it often asks “why” or says “no” does EXACTLY what you tell it often intelligent metallic taste or no taste yummy pussy hard metal case soft skin disk drives stay the same … Continue reading

Twenty Newsgroups You Can Actually Visit On The Internet…

alt.adjective.noun.verb.verb.verb alt.alien.visitors alt.american.olympian.choke.choke.choke alt.bad.clams alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die alt.bigfoot alt.binaries.sounds-armpit.noises alt.bitterness alt.bob-packwood.tongue.tongue.tongue alt.butt.harp alt.cows.moo.moo.moo alt.devilbunnies alt.pantyhose alt.religion.wombat alt.spank.tonya.harding alt.timewasters Continue reading