100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Why Beer Is Better Than A Woman

You can enjoy a beer all month. Beer stains wash out. You don’t have to wine and dine a beer. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car. When beer goes flat you toss it out. Beer is never late. HANGOVERS go away. A beer doesn’t get … Continue reading

Reasons why cucumbers are better than beer

Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer —————————————— Cucumbers won’t give you a hangover. Cucumbers have fewer calories. Your wife won’t complain as much about you sitting around all day watching TV and eating cucumbers. You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment. Your wife won’t complain … Continue reading

32 Reasons Why Cookie Dough Is Better Than Men

It’s enjoyable hard or soft. It makes a mess too, but it tastes better. It doesn’t mind if you take your anger out on it. You always want to swallow. It won’t complain if you share it with friends. It’s “quick and convenient”. You can enjoy it more than once. … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading