You know It’s Your Last Day At Work When …

You know it’s your last day at work when…. You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?”, you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on … Continue reading

Controvercial E-Mail Headers

Suspecting that sys-op at the company we work for have this habit of scanning the headers of e-mail messages sent, we started using some controversial headers that would really tickle his imagination. What follows is a list of some of the better ones we could dream up: subj: Adult entertainment … Continue reading

Interview humor…

============================== Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. +A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. +Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the … Continue reading

More from interviews

After Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees, they were also asked to list the “most unusual” questions that have been asked by job candidates: “What is it that you people do at this company?” … Continue reading

Laws Of The Internet

First Law: Netlag is the Lowest Common Denominator. Second Law: When you need to be Somewhere, You Can’t Get There. Third Law: The Sysop is Actually a Minion of Evil. Fourth Law: When Sysop is Unavailable, all usually goes Well. Fifth Law: You Will Never Have Enough Quota. Sixth Law: … Continue reading

History Of Santa Claus: The Untold Story

Year 1689 Spanish-German explorer Santa Claus discovers the North Pole, and establishes a small base camp. 1691 Because of harsh and meager living conditions, Claus’ crew abandons him. 1692 Claus is rescued by the Viking ship Hvorfor. He returns to Europe, bringing some items with him from the North Pole. … Continue reading

What NOT To Put in a Resume Cover Letter

“I’m really keen to work for you – I hear the drugs are good.” “I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately every company I have worked for has since closed down.” “I’ll kill myself if I don’t get a job.” “I know where you live.” Any sentence beginning with … Continue reading

The Top 16 Signs Your Company Is Planning A Layoff

CEO frequently overheard mumbling, “Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe.” Your workday consists of coming in at 10, thinking up Top Five entries with 30 of your coworkers, then leaving at 4. Dr. Kervorkian hired as “Transition Consultant.” Windows 95 shutdown screen reads, “It’s Now Safe to Start Looking for Work.” Company softball team downsized to chess … Continue reading

Top 10 Reasons you can’t remember what was before life

John Hoban (Shibumi@epix.net) wrote in newsgroup alt.philosophy objectivism: : If there is no personal ego that can remember life before this one : how can one “remember”. Isn’t that supposed to be possible? — TOP TEN LIST BY T.A. DARCOS & COMPANY — (Not affliliated with Worldwide Pants, Inc.) (Drumroll) … Continue reading

The CEO And The Three Envelopes

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said. … Continue reading

You Know It Is Time To Get Out Of Consulting When

You know it is time to get out of consulting when… 1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant’s core competencies are. 2. You decide to re-org your family into a “team-based organization.” 3. You refer to dating as test marketing. 4. You can spell “paradigm.” 5. You actually know … Continue reading

How Do You Spend Your Time At Work?

Notice to All Employees: It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (code 5309). To our department, unproductive time isn’t a problem. What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading