Hazardous Materials Safety Data Sheet; Women – A Chemical Analysis

ELEMENT Women SYMBOL Wo DISCOVERER Adam ATOMIC MASS Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg OCCURRENCES Copious quantities in all urban areas PHYSICAL PROPERTIES Surface usually covered in painted film. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason. Melts if given special treatment. Bitter if incorrectly used. Found in … Continue reading

woman, a chemical analysis

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET ======================================= MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET WOMEN – A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS ELEMENT: Women SYMBOL: Wo DISCOVERER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Surface usually covered in painted film. 2. Boils at … Continue reading

Laws Of The Internet

First Law: Netlag is the Lowest Common Denominator. Second Law: When you need to be Somewhere, You Can’t Get There. Third Law: The Sysop is Actually a Minion of Evil. Fourth Law: When Sysop is Unavailable, all usually goes Well. Fifth Law: You Will Never Have Enough Quota. Sixth Law: … Continue reading

A Rose is a Rose; Lesser-Known Colours & Their Meanings

Although red is the most common colour of rose given, there are many colours with their own special meanings. The most common are: A PINK ROSE says “I like you.“ A WHITE ROSE says “Let’s be friends.“ A YELLOW ROSE says “I’m from Texas. Wanna go roll in some hay?“ … Continue reading

Humorously Translated Signs From Around The World

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today — no ice cream. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden … Continue reading

Top 25 Reasons that Hockey is Better than Sex

It’s ok to bleed during play. If it’s a bad game, you can call a time out. Every player usually has two or three sticks to choose from. There is a limit to the sizes of all equipment. You can still play when you get married. You can change on … Continue reading

Caught in the Act or Lack of Common Sense

Portsmouth, R.I. Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string of vending machine robberies in January when he (1) fled from police inexplicably when they spotted him loitering around a vending machine and (2) later tried to post his $400 bail in coins. Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in … Continue reading

Why Mozart lost the job

Why Mozart Lost the Job Dear Dean X: I write in response to your suggestion of an appointment to our faculty for a Mr. W. A. Mozart, currently of Vienna, Austria. While the Music Department appreciates your interest, faculty are sensitive about their prerogatives in the selection of new colleagues. … Continue reading