Two Naked Statues

There were two statues in some ancient city of Greece which had been in existence for centuries. One was a nude male while the other was a nude female. For centuries they had braved the cold weather and the scorching sun. They had witnessed historical events such as Alexander the … Continue reading

Rabbi Playing Golf

The great Rabbi of a big city is a golf addict. He likes nothing like playing golf on a warm sunny afternoon. Unfortunately, on shabbat, he has to refrain himself. This is a big dilemma for his soul; the temptation to play golf, and the consciousness of doing wrong if … Continue reading

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

How cold is it? (An Annotated Thermometer)

60 degrees – Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe) 50 degrees – Miami residents turn on the heat 40 degrees – You can see your breath Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming 35 degrees – Italian cars don’t start 32 degrees – Water freezes 30 degrees – You plan … Continue reading

Teddy Bears are Better Than Men Because…

Teddy Bears are happy to snuggle all night long. Teddy Bears rarely have prickly whiskers. Teddy Bears always keep your secrets. You can always buy a bigger teddy bear. Teddy Bears never bore you to death with details of the games. Teddy Bears can hug for long periods of time. … Continue reading

Drunk in a Graveyard

A man leaves a bar barely able to walk. It’s raining and very dark. Instead of turning left on exiting the bar, he turn right towards the graveyard. It’s been raining for some time, and the grave diggers have had to abandon a grave they had dug which is there … Continue reading

Motorcycles and men

—————————————————————— Reasons Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Men ______________________________________________ A motorcycle can go for more than one ride in an hour. Motorcycles never develop spare tires. Motorcycles last longer. Motorcycles don’t get you pregnant. A motorcycle doesn’t care what time of month it is. Motorcycles don’t have parents. Your motorcycle … Continue reading

Top Ten Signs That It Is Too Damn Cold

People buying hot roasted chestnuts to put in their pants Dan and Connie doing the news huddled together in a sleeping bag Mob corpses seen skidding across the East River Times Square strip clubs advertising “Live Heavily-Dressed Girls!” Mario Cuomo making a fortune shovelling walks Vendors selling down-filled hot dogs … Continue reading