Funny Answering Machine Messages

All our answering machines are busy. Please hold. (Pause.) All our answering machines are… (CLICK) This is the answering machine of… Hello, this is David. I don’t live here, so if you were trying to call me, you’ve dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying … Continue reading

Top Ten Signs You’re Spending Too Much Time Surfing Web Sites

Your opening line is: “So what’s your home page address?” Your best friend is someone you’ve never met. You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see “Enhanced for Netscape 1.1” on one of the clouds. You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Web … Continue reading

Microsoft Windows for Macintosh Advertising Campaign

I heard that Microsoft is going to come out with a version of Windows for the MacIntosh. I can imagine what the advertisements will be: Are you tired of the user-friendliness of your MacIntosh? Then get Microsoft Windows for MacIntosh, featuring limited on-line help and poor documentation! Why settle for … Continue reading

You Know You’ve Been On The Computer Too Long When…

When you are counting objects, you go “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…”. When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I … Continue reading