50 Fun Things Todo In A Final Exam (That Does Not Matter)

(i.e. you are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam) Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

50 Fun Things for Professors ToDo on the First Day of Class

===================================================== 50 Fun Things for Professors to Do on the First Day of Class ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1. Wear a hood with one eyehole. Periodically make strange gurgling noises. 2. After confirming everyone’s names on the roll, thank the class for attending “Advanced Astrodynamics 690” and mention that yesterday was the last … Continue reading

You Know You’re a Grad Student When…

You just might be a grad student if: you can identify universities by their internet domains. you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels. you have difficulty reading anything that doesn’t have footnotes. you understand jokes about Foucoult. the concept of free time scares you. you consider caffeine to … Continue reading

University Course Evaluation Comments

A friend of mine goes to Brown University. They have a publication there called “The Critical Review.” A section has student comments on a class. Here are some of the more humorous:   Insights from Student Surveys: “He spoke, I had no clue, it was as mutal relationship.” “The book was written … Continue reading

List of Bart Simpsons’ Blackboard Quotations

Episode numbers indicate the blackboard scene used when the episode was shown for the first time; in some cases, the one used in Canada is listed where it was “original” and the USA one was repeated. Note that all quotes were originally in all capital letters, but any punctuation appears … Continue reading

The evolution of math education

HOW TO SPOT OUTCOME-BASED EDUCATION Math Quiz: In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four fifths the price. What is his profit? In 1970 (traditional math): A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 … Continue reading

Academic talk (offensive to professors)

What the professor means By J. Timothy Petersik from the Chronicle of Higher Education Says: You’ll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field. Means: I used it as a grad student. Says: If you follow these few simple rules, you’ll do fine in the course. Means: If … Continue reading

physics

A physics professor was very strict about attendance, and despised tardiness. Every student caught arriving to class late (especially those interrupting his lecture) was quickly reprimanded in front of the whole class. Students were quick to comment on the professor’s genetics. Well, one day a student entered through the front … Continue reading

Top 20 Uses For Data’s Detached Head

Combination paperweight/stapler for Picard’s desk The ball in Parisis’ Squares Hood ornament for Shuttle craft Replace Troi’s broken Chia Pet Scare blind students in Braille class Prop open doors for maintenance crews Lawn decoration in Arboreteum Footstool for Captain’s chair entertaining kids in day care puppet show Scare Alexander into … Continue reading